i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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