my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
