Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
