margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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