i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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