batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Houston, we have a squirter
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
