Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just had sex bonerless
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
