Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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