where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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