When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
