TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
