My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
