i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
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Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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