A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't turn off my feet"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You ate ashes out of my bong
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
