Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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