Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
