she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
