Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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