it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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