Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
