i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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