I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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