Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That was before I lit my hair on fire
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
