i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
