Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
