the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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