I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
