He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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