I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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