butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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