it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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