Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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