going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
