She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
areolas are like halos for boobs.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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