Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
