He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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