Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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