I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
