I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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