Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
