I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bring me that man meat
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
