I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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