I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
