I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
