Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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