After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Two words: blizzard sex
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
