We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize