I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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