then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize