absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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