Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
