So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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