I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
