There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
