i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
