it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
