I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
