belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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