he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
