Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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