i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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