i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
