How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
