Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
